Unsettled Continued take 2

*Thought of the Day: Why does it always seem surprising to people that I am so passionate about not just letting shit happen, especially control-oriented shit?*

...

I wanted to spend a little more time on this topic, since it's in my head so much lately. Something I didn't mention in the last post, and I think it probably factors heavily into my recent "unsettledness", is the fact that I feel rather unsure of my own immediate future. I cannot whine too much as my health is fine but I have to admit a certain amount of stress bears on me...as it bears on many I'm sure. I know it bears on my parents at a time in their lives when stress should be less and less of an issue.

In my case, it's that I find myself terribly unsure what direction to head in from here.

The options seem to be:

1) Go back to what I was doing 6 years ago. This would mean a move back to Edmonton and finding somewhere to crash for a few months while I either settled into freelancing or took whatever steady gig I could find. I suppose it could even mean trying to go back into cruise ship tech work or seeing if the Cirque opportunity was still available. The thing is, it would mean going back to looking out pretty much just for me, and having as much fun as I could before whatever end is coming gets here. If you are familiar with Aesop, I see this as my Grasshopper phase. As easy as it would be to return to that and as tempting as it is, I know it would be turning my back on wisdom and balance...again.

2) Accept as reality that we are fighting a losing battle here and make plans to find and relocate somewhere to make a fresh start. This is tempting as well, especially seeing how much ranch land can be purchased for good price in the Caribou region of BC. One could set up one's own operation or purchase a variety of different sorts of already established ones, albeit at higher price. The main drawback here is isolation. Admittedly this would be some benefit as well, I think, but it makes servicing a local food market pretty hard to achieve. It does present some interesting intentional community opportunities though...

3) Dig in here and build infrastructure towards a multi-generational commitment to sustainable food production in this area. I won't elaborate here now as I talk about it often.

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Ugh, my writing of this post was interrupted by a call from the property manager for my condo, continuing the suite door re-keying fiasco. This Board of Directors/property manager bullshit is certainly not making matter easier. It seems that my pointing out of the fact that this action was reached without due process and is therefore of highly questionable legality is being ignored and the lock company will be changing my lock next week. Luckily I have learned that they are only changing the deadbolt so I will be able to re-key it myself afterward. I will be doing this but I am also pursuing the matter legally. I cannot see the logic in letting them get their legal foot in the door with this issue, even if it may seem a small issue.

By the way, don't expect to call and ask the police to come and arrest someone who says they have the legal right to break into your place and change the locks without legitimate proof that that is so. I think I just about got arrested calling ahead to ask and then wanting clarification for the reasoning. I wonder what would happen if I just stood between the locksmith and the lock though. I would think he'd pretty much have to assault me to change the lock.

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There are probably more real choices but this interruption has been sufficiently distracting and frustrating to continue the line of thinking just now. But again, it certainly explains the feeling of "unsettledness".

And now my head hurts.

Saludos.